Leadership in the Home:
“And he said unto him, My lord knoweth that the children are tender, and the flocks and herds with young are with me: and if men should overdrive them one day, all the flock will die. Let my lord, I pray thee, pass over before his servant: and I will lead on softly, according as the cattle that goeth before me and the children be able to endure, until I come unto my lord unto Seir.” Genesis 33:13-14
“For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.” Proverbs 4:3
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Colossians 3:21
It is the man’s responsibility to lead his home. God has granted and commanded this authority. This home is the very institution of the Lord-He designed it. The man is the ordained leader; he leads his wife and his children. He must lead them in the proper direction. It is not enough to simply lead, for a goose can lead its young down a path to the pond. The Spiritual man must acknowledge the leadership of the Lord in his life and follow after the ways of the Lord, thus leading His family in the direction of the Lord.
Not only should the man have the proper direction in leadership, but he ought to have the proper manners in this leadership. Leadership by some can be cruel, oppressive, harsh, and dictator like. Fathers can rule their homes with iron fists and hard hearts. The Scriptures teach us that children are tender. They are impressionable while they are young. Their hearts and consciences do not have a hardened layer calloused around them. The leadership of the father can quickly cause damage to these young lives and lead to hardness being stretched over their soft hearts. Many a young child has been driven to bitterness by the words, attitudes, and actions of a ruling father. Many a father has lost the tender heart of his child by some careless act or attitude.
How then is a father to lead? The father must lead with knowledge. He ought to know much about the nature of the Lord. As he studies the nature of his Lord, he will see how his Heavenly Father deals with himself. Isaiah 40:11 “He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.” The father should lead with these very same manners. A father is not to have unrealistic expectations. He should know the tenderness of his children. He must know that they can easily be driven to discouragement. Fathers are also to lead with affection. Some fathers rule their home with a rod of pride because they are motivated by their own selfish whims. The Spiritual father leads with love for his tender children. A Father cannot lead without sensitivity. He must be hard and stalwart in his stand for truth; ready to contend for the faith, yet he must be soft and tenderhearted in how he shapes the heart of his child. If you study some fathers, you will find “spiritual giants” who have driven their families to anger, for their children did not see the tender leadership in helping them to arrive at the right spiritual destination. Remember, Dad, to be a loving shepherd, not a rough riding cattle driver!
How do I lead? Ask yourself this, father. Do I overdrive my family or do I lead on softly?
From the desk of Pastor David J. Smith